


Odd Couples

by SimplyChristian



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anthology, Bankai, Character Study, Classical Music, Compare and Contrast, Drabble Collection, Family, Fights, Friendship, Gap Filler, Gen, Humor, Logical Weakness, Loyalty, Misogyny, Missing Scene, No Romance, Obsession, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Parallels, Recovery, Revenge, Short One Shot, Slice of Life, Smile, Strategy & Tactics, Suspense, drinking buddies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 19,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27050029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyChristian/pseuds/SimplyChristian
Summary: A collection of oneshots between characters who do not interact very often. NO SHIPPING.  Full list will be provided in the first chapter as a table of contents.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 56





	1. Table of Contents

"Odd Couples" is a collection of one-shots focusing on characters we do not see interact very much, if at all, in the series proper. This is a focus on character interaction. Friendships, not-quite-friendships, battles that could have been, and other dramatic scenes, but there will be no romantic pairings. 

Here's the chapter list so far (Popular chapters or ones I personally like are in italics):

Chapter 1: Yamamoto and Orihime in "Reminder." Orihime offers to heal Yamamoto's arm.

_Chapter 2: Hitsugaya and Baraggan in "Timeless." A slight alternate timeline where Hitsugaya is the one to face Baraggan over Karakura._

_Chapter 3: Gin and Hinamori in "Persimmons and Peaches." In her first days in the Fifth Division, Hinamori has an encounter with the lieutenant._

Chapter 4: Nnoitra and Halibel in "Love's Reflection." Nnoitra thinks that Halibel is a step up from Nelliel; he does not think so for long.

Chapter 5: Yamamoto and Nanao in "Substitute Sotaicho." The captain-commander needs someone reliable to make sure Soul Society doesn't collapse on itself in his absence while everyone is fighting Aizen in Karakura.

_Chapter 6: Gin and Unohana in "Smile." "Smiling: an act of intimidation."_

Chapter 7: Yamamoto and Ikkaku in "Bankai." Yamamoto has a little talk with Ikkaku about when to use Bankai.

Chapter 8: Byakuya and Ukitake in "Conference." The Soul Society equivalent of a Parent-Teacher conference.

Chapter 9: Gin and Kenpachi in "Strong." Who is stronger?

Chapter 10: Yammy and Orihime in "Food for Thought." Yammy needs someone to complain to who won't talk back, and decides to vent on the prisoner.

Chapter 11: Kenpachi and Yumichika in "Bringer of War." When culture meets combat.

_Chapter 12: Gin and Tousen in "Revenge." Aizen's two lieutenants talk about why they joined the man who sought heaven's throne._

Chapter 13: Kenpachi and Hinamori in "For Whom the Bell Tolls." In which Kenpachi remembers the reason why he doesn't think deeply too often.

Chapter 14: Kuukaku and Kenpachi in "Lost Time." The showdown that had to happen sooner or later.

_Chapter 15: Hitsugaya and Urahara in "Job Offer." While on assignment in the world of the living, the captain of the Tenth relays a message to Urahara._

_Chapter 16: Sasakibe and Hinamori in "Loyalty." The lieutenant of the First Division talks with the lieutenant of the Fifth before he departs for the Battle of Karakura_.

Chapter 17: Yachiru and Yamamoto in "Come Back Anytime." The captain-commander's grandfatherly tendencies only came out for one person.

Chapter 18: Kenpachi and Kyoraku in "War and Peace." The Eighth and the Eleventh get together to watch the moon and drink sake.

Chapter 19: Gin and Yammy in "Wrath." Gin did not know whether it was ironic or insulting that the aspect of death he most identified with was the one Yammy represented.

_Chapter 20: Kyoraku and Halibel in "Predator." A slight alternate timeline where Kyoraku duels Halibel over fake Karakura Town._

_Chapter 21: Starrk and Hitsugaya in "Conservation." A slight alternate timeline where the Tenth Division captain battles the Primera._

Chapter 22: Chad and Kyoraku in "Fresh Start." In the aftermath of Aizen's betrayal, two pacifistic souls decide to drink like friends.

_Chapter 23: Sung-sun and Gin in "Cold Comfort." Ichimaru makes an offer that Sung-sun cannot refuse._

Chapter 24: Kyoraku and Komamura in "Weirdness." Not long after the revelation of Komamura's physical appearance, Kyoraku assures him that he is neither the ugliest or even the oddest person in the Gotei 13.


	2. Reminder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orihime offers to heal Yamamoto's arm.

**Originally published on Fanfiction.net: 8/18/2012**

* * *

Characters: Yamamoto and Orihime, brief Sasakibe

Genre: Drama

Setting: Soul Society, shortly after the defeat of Aizen.

Word Count: 452

* * *

“Yamamoto-sotaicho,” said Sasakibe Chojiro as he entered his superior’s office, “Inoue Orihime wishes to see you.”

Although the old general was surprised by this, he did not let it show on his face.

“Very well, let her in.”

Sasakibe nodded and allowed the human girl into the room.

“Uh, sorry for taking up your time,” she nervously said, “But I heard that you lost your arm fighting Aizen, and I wanted to heal it for you.”

“So you are saying that your healing abilities can restore lost limbs,” said Yamamoto. He knew that Inoue’s abilities acted on a different scale and dimension than normal healing kido, but he had not heard the full extent of her power.

“Yeah, Aizen figured out that my powers reject reality, so it’s not really healing, but forcing your arm back into existence.”

“Have you visited the other captains yet?”

“Yes, I just came from healing them.”

Yamamoto was silent for a moment.

“Inoue Orihime,” he finally said, “I am grateful for your offer, but I must decline.”

She let out a quick gasp of surprise.

“Why? Don’t you want to have your arm back?”

“What I wish is a reminder for my failure.”

“Your…”

“I was a fool to not think that Aizen would prepare himself against my strength. It never occurred to me that he would find a way to contain my power and use it against me. Instead, I focused only on a method to bypass his Complete Hypnosis, believing it would be the only technique he would attempt to use.”

“It’s not your fault, sotaicho! Aizen is really smart, so there’s no way you could plan for everything he did.”

“It was my responsibility to stop that man, and I failed in that task. The only reason Aizen did not replace the Soul King was because of Kurosaki Ichigo’s power and Urahara Kisuke’s own plans. And we were lucky that the Hogyoku decided to abandon its master instead of attempting to heal him again.

“But what will happen, should Kurosaki Ichigo not be present, and Urahara Kisuke unable to be at a needed battlefield? Luck is a fickle mistress, Inoue Orihime. My missing arm will teach me not to underestimate my foes in the future.”

“But, won’t you fight better if I healed it?”

“A reminder of not underestimating my enemies is worth far more than my arm, Inoue Orihime,” he replied, “I repeat my gratitude to your offer, but my decision stands. Is there anything else you wished to discuss with me?”

Inoue looked like she wanted to protest further, but reluctantly kept her silence.

“No, there isn’t,” she said softly.

“Then you are dismissed.”

“Hai, Yamamoto-sotaicho,” she said, bowing and leaving.

* * *

**Author’s Note** : Just my theory on why Soifon and pretty much everyone else got put back into one piece, but Yamamoto did not. Since Orihime is not the type to hold a grudge, I doubt that she would withhold her healing from him just because he did not approve a rescue of her. Especially since Yamamoto was the only one who actually did what she wanted in that scenario.

“I go with Ulquiorra to save my friends’ lives, and what happens? They almost get themselves killed trying to rescue me!”

“I told them not to.”

* * *

**AO3 Commentary:** For those of you who followed me on “A Grudge Not Held,” here is my other multi-chapter “Bleach” story, an anthology of drabbles and brief one-shots centered around the premise that with the long, long, _long_ list of characters, there are some people who should have had some interaction together, it was never shown onscreen.

I also decided to experiment with the more flexible formatting of AO3, and have the stats at the top of the chapter be centered instead of left-justified.


	3. Timeless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight alternate timeline where Hitsugaya is the one to face Baraggan over Karakura.

Characters: Hitsugaya and Baraggan

Genre: Drama/Action

Setting: Slight AU, battle over fake Karakura Town

Word Count: 424

* * *

Hitsugaya had grown more concerned as he faced the power of the Segundo Espada. Because of the old man’s time dilation abilities, the white-haired captain had been unable to land even a single blow. Even after going into Shikai, each frozen dragon launched at the Arrancar was evaded with contemptible ease.

The concern transformed into outright fear when Baraggan, the self-proclaimed god of Hueco Mundo, released his sword.

The captain of the Tenth released his Bankai in response, but when he saw how Baraggan’s mere presence caused the buildings around him to decay, he wondered if that would be enough.

“I told you earlier,” the skeletal Arrancar boasted, “I signify aging. All things near me grow old… and die off.”

With that proclamation, he unleashed his “Respira.”

Of course, after Hitsugaya saw what happened to everything else touched by Baraggan’s attack, he ran. But he was too slow, far too slow. The young captain glanced behind him and saw that the deadly exhale was almost upon him. Out of sheer instinct and panic, the dragon wrapped himself in his wings, despite knowing it would be a futile effort.

But after a moment of being curled up in his icy wings, he felt nothing.

Cautiously, the captain of the Tenth peeked through a gap and saw that the curse had passed him over.

Both combatants were dumbstruck that the shinigami had been untouched by Baraggan’s unconquerable power.

It took Hitsugaya a moment to figure it out for himself. But once he did, he realized that the odds of this battle were now tipped in his favor.

But Baraggan still looked mystified at the utterly impossible happenstance that had occurred, but that was quickly transforming into rage.

“Impossible!” the former king of the world of Hollows roared, “How can you still live and breathe after being exposed to my Respira? How can you shake off the power of time itself, which even death gods must bow to? What _are_ you?”

“You say you signify aging? You can make something grow old and rot?” Hitsugaya asked, “You forget, Espada, that water does not age. The same water that you drink today is the same water that was in the glaciers a hundred millennia ago, and the same water that will form the clouds a million years from now.”

“What?” Baraggan cried in disbelief.

“Your power means nothing to someone who has the timeless waters at his command,” Hitsugaya said.

The tables now turned, the ruler of the frosted heavens set to battle the “god” of Hueco Mundo.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** Just a little “What-if” when I was thinking about what could be immune to Baraggan’s power. I’ll leave the rest of their duel to your imagination.

And you had no idea how tempting it was for me to write Hitsugaya saying something like, “So you can make things grow older? Gimme!”

* * *

**AO3 Commentary:** This stands one of my favorites in this anthology, just because it provided a Kryptonite to Baraggan’s otherwise invincible power. It really makes you realize that Soifon and Toshiro should have tried to swap opponents; can you imagine Halibel lasting long against Soifon’s two stings?

After I wrote this, I came across the fanfic over on FFN “A Protector’s Pride,” and had a battle with Hitsugaya against Baraggan in more detail, with more pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses, of how this match-up would go.


	4. Persimmons and Peaches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In her first days in the Fifth Division, Hinamori has an encounter with the lieutenant.

Characters: Gin and Hinamori

Genre: Drama/Friendship(?)

Setting: Soul Society, some decades before the present

Word Count: 1,161

* * *

Hinamori Momo rushed through the hallways of the Fifth Division, worried over her current predicament.

She had only been part of the Fifth Division a week, but she had not yet learned her way around the complex halls and corridors of her new environment. Because of this, she was running late for her duties.

Unfortunately, she had taken a wrong turn somewhere, and now she was completely lost. The pathway she had taken turned to the right ahead, and she slowed down just enough so that she would not lose control of her momentum and fall as she made the turn. She stopped in her tracks, however, when the only thing in front of her was a dead end.

Hinamori growled in frustration, as if the wall in front of her was the one responsible for her trouble, and she let out a very immature stomp of her foot at her situation.

“Aya, what’s got ya in such a hissy-fit?”

Hinamori yelped and whipped around to see a person not much older than herself standing there with a smile on his face and a lieutenant’s badge on his arm. If there were three things she learned in her first week at the Fifth, it was where she worked, where she slept, and the name of her vice-captain.

“Ichimaru-fukutaicho!” she squeaked. She was already going to be in trouble with her immediate superior for being late for work, but now she was caught by the high-ranking young man in the act of not being where she was supposed to be.

“That’s right,” the silver-haired boy confirmed, “Haven’t seen ya ‘round here before; who might ya be?”

“Hinamori Momo, sir, one of the new unseated officers of the Fifth Division,” she answered, bowing to him, “I apologize, but I haven’t learned my way around yet, so I got lost and can’t find where I work…”

“S’all right,” Ichimaru grinned, an act that seemed to be the default setting for his face, “Whole Seireitei is built like a maze, so it’s easy to get lost. C’mon, I’ll get ya to yer job.”

“What?” Hinamori squeaked again, “Surely you have more important duties, Ichimaru-fukutaicho…”

“It’s no problem,” the lieutenant assured her, “Now, where do ya need to be?”

Still feeling like she was being a burden on her new superior, Hinamori told him where she was assigned.

“Lucky fer ya, that ain’t too far,” Ichimaru said, “C’mon.”

“Yes, sir.”

Ichimaru led off, but at slower pace than the new unseated officer would have preferred. Still, she was hesitant so speak up, seeing as that would seem ungrateful to the lieutenant’s offer for guiding her.

Still, her anxiety must have shown, because Ichimaru asked, “In a hurry, are we?”

“I just wish to get to my duties,” Hinamori said, “I don’t want to look like a slacker…”

“Ya worry too much,” Ichimaru chastised, “Ya need to be more easygoin’. One day late ain’t gonna ruin yer chances of promotion ‘round here.”

“But…”

“If you’re so worried, I’ll tell yer officer to give ya a free pass this time.”

“I couldn’t ask such a favor of you!”

“Good thin’ you’re not askin’ fer it, then.”

“I don’t want to look like you’re playing favorites.”

“That’s one thin’ ya _definitely_ don’t need to worry ‘bout,” Ichimaru grinned wider, now showing some teeth and sending a small shiver down the girl’s spine.

Hinamori decided to drop the subject and continue in silence.

“So, Hinamori-kun,” Ichimaru said easily, his face now reverting his “normal” smile, “What made ya choose our humble lil’ division?”

“Well, it’s mostly because of Aizen-taicho,” she admitted, “Back while I was in the Academy, we were out on a training exercise, and some strong Hollows showed up. They were too much for our supervisors, and they almost killed us. Then Aizen-taicho showed up and saved us.”

Hinamori then blinked, and remembered another detail she had noticed that night, but never thought about until now.

“You were there that night, too!” she said.

“Probably,” shrugged the lieutenant, “I don’t recall that particular time, but I’ve done a lot of rescuin’.”

“Oh,” Hinamori said softly. That probably meant Aizen-taicho would not remember her, either.

Still, Aizen-taicho might; he had, after all, looked at her and placed a comforting hand on her head. Her cheeks pinked a little at the memory.

“Ah,” Ichimaru said far too knowingly, “Ya got a crush on the captain.”

The small flush immediately sprouted into a full-blown blush.

“N-no, that’s not it,” she stammered in denial.

He chuckled at her reaction.

“Don’t worry, yer secret’s safe with me,” Ichimaru assured her.

“There’s no secret to keep!” Hinamori protested.

“So it’s okay to tell Aizen-taicho?”

“No!” gasped the mortified girl, “Please don’t!”

“Just kiddin’,” laughed Ichimaru, “Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Hinamori was embarrassed beyond belief at the current topic, and tried to change the subject.

“Why are you helping me so much?”

“Surprised that a creepy guy would help a lil’ girl like ya?”

“I didn’t say…”

“Ya don’t have to. Most everyone thinks I’m creepy,” shrugged the silver young man. Hinamori noticed that this statement did not seem to bother him. If anything, he seemed to _like_ how his personality unnerved others, “But I got the feelin’ that you’re a smart girl, Hinamori-kun.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” she protested modestly, wondering where that comment had come from.

“Still, ya know that we both follow and obey Aizen-taicho, right?”

“Yes, sir,” Hinamori said, feeling like Ichimaru’s train of thought had left her at the station.

“So, as one follower o’ Aizen-taicho to ‘nother,” the fox said, “Lemme give ya a piece o’ advice.”

Ichimaru put his right hand on her left shoulder, and they both stopped walking and faced each other. He then leaned into her left ear, causing Hinamori to stiffen, but put up no resistance.

“Don’t trust _anyone_ by their appearance,” he whispered slowly and clearly.

Hinamori blinked, unsure as to why the silver man would choose that age-old moral as his advice to bestow upon her.

Ichimaru pulled away, much to Hinamori’s relief. She knew that this creepy young man had to have good (if very well hidden) qualities, if Aizen-taicho chose him as his lieutenant, but still, the fox-like shinigami really put her on edge.

“As long as ya keep that lil’ tidbit in mind, you’ll do all right,” Gin told her, “And this is yer stop, right?”

Hinamori looked to the side to see that they arrived at the building where she was supposed to work. He walked her in and pardoned her tardiness for the day, and then gave her a “bye-bye” as he left for his own duties.

At the time, Hinamori thought Ichimaru’s little tip was a lesson on how people who looked bad at first glance could be good inside. It would not be until many years and a betrayal later that she realized that maybe the snake was trying to warn her of the reverse.

* * *

 **Author’s Note:** Just a little speculation on how Ichimaru and Hinamori would have acted with each other when they were both still Fifth Division.

* * *

 **AO3 Commentary:** I always add the (?) to the genre of friendship on the chapters Gin is in, simply because it is _Gin_. Perfectly affable and easy-going, and just as inclined to have a friendly chat with you as he is to “tease” you into a sobbing wreck.

And I like to think that Gin does indeed remember the night he and Aizen “saved” the students from Hollows in that training mission, and is inwardly laughing at how the smitten Hinamori described it as Aizen saving them, and Gin happened to be there, too.


	5. Love's Refelction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nnoitra thinks that Halibel is a step up from Nelliel; he does not think so for long.

Main Characters: Nnoitra, Halibel, mentions of Nel

Genre: Drama

Setting: Las Noches, after Aizen leaves Soul Society

Word Count: 1,198

* * *

Nnoitra smirked as he walked to the Espada meeting room, his tongue still tingling from the new taste of Quinto. It was certainly better than Octava, the seat Szayel now occupied, but still too far from his goal of Primera.

Aizen-sama had called for a meeting of the Espada today, to introduce the newest Arrancar into their ranks, and to bring the count up to ten again.

Nnoitra idly wondered what the new Tres would be, and gave thought to challenging him to fight for the position. He’d have to refrain from killing the new guy; Aizen-sama would not be too happy about losing another Espada.

The Quinto knew the only reason he got away scot-free with Nelliel’s disposal was because Aizen had not been present in Las Noches at the time. Even though there was no proof that Nnoitra had been the one to kick Nelliel out, the way Aizen-sama had looked at the tall Espada when he expressed his displeasure told Nnoitra that one more such “incident,” and he would be disposed of in a similar fashion. Good Espada were hard to come by, after all.

His idle thoughts banished, Nnoitra entered the meeting room, seeing that the other Espada were already there.

“You are late,” noted Ulquiorra.

“Aizen-sama ain’t here yet, so that means I ain’t late,” retorted Nnoitra.

“I am now.”

All the Espada present immediately quieted down. Their Lord Aizen and his two closest servants Ichimaru and Tousen had entered the room, the latter two taking their usual positions by the door.

“As you all know,” began their leader as he took his seat at the table, “The position of Three has been absent for some time now.”

Nnoitra swore everyone was shooting him a knowing look, even that dimwit Yammy.

“Fortunately, I have come across a Menos fit to fill that position,” continued Aizen, “A Vasto Lorde.”

Well, that tanked any thoughts on duels, Nnoitra thought grimly. At least, for now it did.

“Let me introduce Halibel Tier, the new Tres Espada.”

With that statement, one blond, _very_ female Arrancar walked into the room.

Nnoitra’s eye twitched. To the Quinto’s increasing ire, half of the other Espada seemed to take varying levels of amusement at the situation and Nnoitra’s reaction to it. Even Szayel, the little traitor.

“Now that we have all become acquainted,” said Aizen, taking advantage of the silence, “Let’s have tea.”

* * *

Tesra raised an eyebrow as his master barged into his room, screaming obscenities and incoherent curses.

“What’s wrong, Nnoitra-sama?”

“I just got rid of one woman, and Aizen replaces her with another one!” roared the tall Arrancar, “I swear he did it on purpose to punish me!”

Tesra waited in silence patiently, letting the Espada rant on.

“I don’t care how strong she felt in that meeting room! I don’t care what Aizen does to me! I’m going to kill her right now!”

Before the Fraccion could offer a word of caution, Nnoitra had stormed out in the same mood he had rolled in.

Tesra sighed and decided to follow, to make sure someone was there to pick up the pieces after the new Tres was done with him. As much as he idolized his master, Tesra knew that if Nnoitra could not beat the previous Tres Espada without aide, there was no way he could take the new one while in a fit of rage.

* * *

One thorough thrashing later, Nnoitra was back in his room, with Tesra bandaging up his wounds. To Tesra’s surprise, however, the Quinto was not fuming over his defeat. Instead, he looked rather pensive.

_“I did not realize that Aizen-sama let animals into the Espada ranks.”_

That had been the first thing she had said to him after Nnoitra had issued his challenge. It reminded him of how Nelliel used to describe him, and he hated it. He had immediately attacked in rage, and paid steeply for his mistake.

_“The only reason I do not kill you now is because Aizen-sama does not want to lose any more Espada to infighting.”_

So this one had guts after all. Nelliel spared him because she felt sorry for him. Halibel spared him only because of Aizen’s orders. That meant that the new woman had more respect for him than Nelliel did.

Wait a minute. She said “any _more_ Espada.” Hadn’t she been here only one day? Did one of the other Arrancar tell her about what happened to her predecessor? Oh, well, it didn’t really matter that much. Point was she was more ruthless than Nelliel ever could be.

Nnoitra grinned, despite his injuries. Looked like things might be better with this new girl.

* * *

One week later, Nnoitra felt differently.

As soon as he recovered from his injuries, he had challenged Halibel again to a duel. She had flatly refused without as much as a glance in his direction. After attempting to attack her from behind, she gave him a thrashing just as thorough as the first one.

_“I have better use of my time than to satiate the meaningless hunger of beasts.”_

Once again, Tesra bandaged his wounds, while the patient pondered over his situation.

Nnoitra had thought that nothing would change; after all, Halibel was just another woman holding the rank of Tres; she couldn’t be that different from Nelliel, right? Yet something _was_ different. Nnoitra couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was a difference between the two women, and it was not just the level of ruthlessness.

* * *

Once again, after Nnoitra had healed his wounds, he again challenged Halibel to the position of Tres. And once again, he was thoroughly thrashed.

_“If you try to attack me once more, I will remove a certain piece of your anatomy that will not hinder your combat ability.”_

That was certainly different from when Nelliel was here. Whenever Nelliel fought him, she would only do so in self-defense, and even then, she would only use the bare minimum amount of force to subdue him. Halibel only held back just enough to refrain from killing him. At first, Nnoitra preferred the new Tres’ attitude towards fighting; until he realized that being laid up in bed all the time was boring.

There was another major difference between the two women that Nnoitra only realized after his third fight with Halibel. The new Tres looked upon him not with respect, as he thought at first, but scorn. The shark-like woman barely tolerated the Quinto’s existence, only spoke to him when she had to.

Nelliel rarely tried to avoid Nnoitra, and never gave him the silent treatment. She always had something to say to him, be it idle conversation during a rare moment of tranquility, or a moral lecture during and after the many times she had defeated him.

Nnoitra stopped trying to fight Halibel, and stopped trying to talk with her. She didn’t seem to care. He still made snide remarks her way, but as long as he was not violent, neither was she. It actually became relatively boring, compared to the time he spent with Nelliel.

Of course, there was no way he would ever admit that he regretted kicking the infuriating green-haired woman out.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** The… complex relationship between Nnoitra and Nel had always fascinated me. On first glance (and second, and third, and fourth… and one hundred and ninety-seventh glance), it appears that Nnoitra hates Nel. However, the way he always goes after Nel, the way we never see him antagonize Halibel like he did Nel shows he definitely was obsessed with her for a deeper reason than simple misogyny. And the thing about obsession is that it is a trait shared by both love and hate. The title of this chapter comes from my philosophy on hate: it is not the opposite of love, but its dark reflection.

Yes, I know that the official spelling is “Harribel,” but according to Bleach Wiki, “Halibel” is also acceptable (and in my opinion, much more sensible).


	6. Substitute Taicho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The captain-commander needs someone reliable to make sure Soul Society doesn't collapse on itself in his absence while everyone is fighting Aizen in Karakura.

Characters: Yamamoto and Nanao

Genre: Drama

Setting: Soul Society, just before Yamamoto and the others leave to defend Karakura

Word Count: 808

* * *

“You wanted to see me, sir?” asked Nanao uncertainly as she entered Yamamoto’s office.

“Yes, Ise-fukutaicho,” replied the captain-commander, “As you know, four captains and their lieutenants were sent to Hueco Mundo to save Kurosaki Ichigo and his friends. And shortly, I will be taking the rest of the captains along with their lieutenants to defend the area of Karakura, in preparation for Aizen’s attack.

“However, you may have noticed that you are not on the list of officers who will be leaving.”

“I had,” she replied, “And if I may, Yamamoto-sotaicho, I volunteer for the mission; I am both willing and able to follow Kyoraku-taicho, no matter what.”

“I fully realize the loyalty you have towards Kyoraku,” commented Yamamoto dryly, “And your request is denied.”

“May I ask why?”

“That is the reason I called you here,” answered Yamamoto, “Because all of the captains and most of the lieutenants will be either in Hueco Mundo or in Karakura, Soul Society is vulnerable. It is not likely that Aizen will launch an attack on the Seireitei while simultaneously in Karakura, but there must be preparations in place.

“Ise-fukutaicho, do you fully realize that once I leave with the task force, the ranking officer in the Gotei 13 will be _you_?”

A heavy silence fell as Nanao digested Yamamoto’s statement.

“It is for that reason that I am formally proclaiming you the leader of all shinigami in Soul Society while the rest of us are fighting Aizen and his forces.”

Nanao’s jaw dropped.

“I-I’m honored by your decision, sir,” she finally stuttered, “But isn’t there someone in your Division that can take your role? What about your lieutenant?”

“Sasakibe will be joining me to the world of the living,” replied Yamamoto, “And while I strongly advise that you take my Third Seat Okikiba Genshiro as your second-in-command, you will remain the highest ranking officer, and the person best suited for the job.”

“What do you mean by that? I don’t have a Bankai; I’m not even one of the stronger lieutenants.”

“Which is part of the reason why you will not join is in Karakura,” Yamamoto bluntly informed her, “But your skills in administrative and managerial jobs are greater than some of the captains. With the main power of the Gotei 13 gone, someone has to stay behind and make sure Soul Society does not fall apart at the seams.”

Nanao nodded, not trusting herself to speak at the moment.

“And because I am preparing for the worst, I have instructions for you in case we should lose the battle in the world of the living,” Yamamoto continued.

“Instructions?”

“Yes. If Aizen should come to Soul Society to make the Oken, your course of action is simple: observe his movements, but _do not fight him_.”

“Sir?”

“If Aizen comes to Soul Society, then that will mean that the captains and lieutenants have failed. Sending lower class shinigami will only result in meaningless deaths.”

“Then, what are we to do?”

Yamamoto waited to explain this time until after he pulled out a folder from his desk. It was wrapped up a cord, bound by a kido seal that Nanao could not see, but feel.

“As I said before: keep surveillance on Aizen,” Yamamoto instructed, “But do not engage. As soon as it looks like he will begin the creation of the Oken, you are to open this folder and obey its instructions. It will permit only you to read its contents. I am giving this to you in the strictest of confidence; you are to tell _no one_ of this assignment to you. And if we win this battle, you are to forget we ever had this conversation.”

“I understand,” Nanao said.

“Good,” Yamamoto said, “This folder is not to leave this office; it will be kept in this desk until the circumstance I have just described occurs. Do you have any questions?”

“What if Aizen manages to destroy the pillars and force Karakura back into the world of the living?” Nanao asked.

“If that should happen, then there is nothing you can do,” Yamamoto said, “Karakura returning to the living world will mean that we failed, and that all of the captains we sent there are dead.”

“Surely, there has to be something we could do?” Nanao protested.

“There is not,” Yamamoto answered, “But keep this in mind: while the Gotei 13 is the first line of defense for the Soul King, we are not the last.”

Nanao knew better than to ask him to expand on that; the captain-commander merely alluding to defenses in the Soul King’s dimension was telling her more than he technically should, even with her (hopefully) temporary rank.

“Do you have any other questions?” Yamamoto asked.

Ise carefully thought it over, and shook her head.

“Good,” the general concluded, “You are dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.”

**Author’s Note:** Did anyone else notice how Nanao was the only one of the main cast who was not either in Hueco Mundo or in Karakura Town during Aizen’s attack?

* * *

**AO3 Commentary:** It occurred to me that the last conversation this pair would have had in canon was Yamamoto dismissively telling Nanao he didn’t have time to teach her how to breathe.


	7. Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Smiling: an act of intimidation."

Characters: Unohana, Ichimaru

Genre: Humor

Setting: Soul Society, while Gin is still captain

Word Count: 452

* * *

“Yo, Unohana-taicho!”

The healer being addressed turned her head and looked at the approaching captain of the Third. She also took note of the wide berth the other Fourth Division members were giving him.

“Yes, Ichimaru-taicho?” she asked warmly, completely unperturbed by the man’s creepiness.

“I got an idea,” Gin said, his smile containing more mischief than malice.

“Oh? What kind of idea?”

“I was thinkin’ ‘bout smiles. An’ I thought ‘bout how ya an’ I got the scariest smiles in Soul Society.”

“What do you mean by that, Ichimaru-taicho?”

“Just like I said, ya got a smile that can scare anyone away if ya want.”

Unohana concealed her amusement at the fox’s audacity. Even Yamamoto did not comment lightly on her _smile_.

“Anyway, I was thinkin’ ‘bout how we could use our smiles to have some fun,” Ichimaru continued, “Just think: I scare someone with my smile, and they run to away straight to ya. Just when they think they’re safe, ya smile at ‘em, an’ they run back to me. It’d be like one o’ those sports in the world of the livin’, where they hit a ball back an’ forth across a table.

“Or maybe they won’t move, ‘cause they’d be too scared to. Either way, we should get some great results!”

“Ichimaru-taicho,” Unohana said amiably, “As the lead healer in Soul Society, I cannot simply terrify lower ranked shinigami for the fun of it.”

“What ‘bout people from the Eleventh?” asked Gin, “Can ya make an exception fer ‘em?”

“I cannot, Ichimaru-taicho.”

“Aw, c’mon, pretty please?”

“Ichimaru-taicho, no,” the oldest woman in Soul Society repeated, this time accentuating her answer with the _smile_.

Credit had to be given to Ichimaru: his grin did not drop an inch. It lost all mirth, and only served as a mask to hide his terror, but the smile stayed.

“’Kay, fine then,” he said with all the petulance of a child denied ice cream, “Be a spoilsport.”

“Have a nice day, Ichimaru-taicho,” Unohana said, her friendlier smile returning, and polite dismissal evident in her voice.

“Back at ya,” he replied, starting to walk away. He stopped just within earshot and called back, “But are ya sure ya don’t take _any_ pleasure outta seein’ people run away from yer scary smile?”

“Ichimaru-taicho,” she said warningly, her warm smile present, but ready to arm itself.

“I’m goin’, I’m goin’,” he said, but adamant to get the last word in, he yelled, “But I noticed the lack o’ denial!”

Before Unohana could form a rebuttal, the captain of the Third had already flash-stepped away.

Her lips curved into an amused manner and admitted to herself that it _was_ sometimes fun to use her infamous smile.

* * *

 **Author’s Note:** Gin adheres to this philosophy: “Smile! It makes people wonder what you’re up to.”

* * *

 **AO3 Commentary:** You know, I just realized that Gin did what he came for: Unohana using her _smile_ for fun. Be Careful What You Wish For, Gin.


	8. Bankai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yamamoto has a little talk with Ikkaku about when to use Bankai.

Characters: Yamamoto and Ikkaku

Genre: Drama/Humor

Setting: Soul Society, shortly after Aizen’s defeat

Word Count: 1,021

* * *

Madarame Ikkaku walked into the office of the captain-commander, having received a summons for an immediate meeting with the old man.

“You called for me?” the Eleventh Division man asked as approached Yamamoto’s desk.

“Third Seat Madarame,” Yamamoto said, “Do you know _why_ I have called you here?”

The way he asked that made Ikkaku feel unwillingly like a misbehaving child who had just been found out about whatever naughty behavior he had committed.

“Uh…” was his intelligent reply.

“You failed to protect the pillar keeping the real Karakura Town safe.”

Ikkaku sighed. He knew that this would come back to haunt him.

“With all due respect, sir, Iba-fukutaicho has already given me a thorough chewing out. I assure you, it won’t happen again.”

“I know. And that is why I am not punishing you.”

“Huh?”

“Instead, I want you to tell me exactly why you did not use your Bankai.”

Ikkaku froze, but managed to calmly say, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t bother lying,” Yamamoto snapped, “We already know about your Bankai, so there’s no use in denying it anymore.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” asked Ikkaku nervously.

“All of the captains, for starters.”

“How? Did Komamura-taicho tell you?” Ikkaku asked, choosing not to question what Yamamoto meant by “for starters.”

“He was among the last to know.”

“Then how…?”

“In one of Hitsugaya-taicho’s reports of his activities in Karakura Town, he said that he felt another Bankai aside from Abarai-fukutaicho and Kurosaki Ichigo being released during the first battle with the Arrancar.”

"Oh. So that's when you found out about my Bankai?"

"No. Kuchiki-taicho asked Abarai-fukutaicho who was his Bankai teacher. While Abarai-fukutaicho declined to tell, Kuchik-taicho made inquiries, and figured out it was you."

_‘Guy couldn’t even tell his own lieutenant got Bankai, and he immediately figures out that_ I _have one?_ ” Ikkaku thought incredulously. Out loud, he asked, “So that’s when you found out?”

“No. Unohana-taicho has examined you many times over the years, so she could not only tell you had a Bankai, but when you achieved it and how many times you’ve used it.”

Ikkaku had no idea that one could find out if someone possessed Bankai just by examining at their reiatsu. That was kind of freaky.

“So, that’s when you…?”

“No. Some of Soifon-taicho’s spies witnessed you instructing Abarai-fukutaicho how to attain Bankai in the edges of the Rukongai a couple of years ago.”

“And that’s when…”

“No. A few years prior to that, you bragged about your Bankai to Kyoraku and Ukitake while you were out drunk with them. The reason they did not dismiss this as inebriated boasting was because they both had their suspicions about you. They told me that you did not remember the conversation the next morning.”

Ikkaku was suddenly considering the merits of temperance.

“And that’s…”

“Silence. And years before _that_ , Zaraki-taicho told me that you suddenly got stronger over a short period of time.”

“Kenpachi…”

“Yes, your captain knew about your Bankai since almost the beginning.”

Ikkaku didn’t know how to respond to that.

“And _that’s_ when you found out…”

“No.”

“Then when?!”

“I’ve been the captain-commander of the Thirteen Divisions for a thousand years,” Yamamoto said dryly, “I _know_ when someone has achieved Bankai, even if I have never seen then use it.”

The Third Seat suddenly felt like the number of follicles on his head represented the number of active brain cells he possessed.

Then he did a mental head count. Yamamoto had yet to mention one last captain…

“Please tell me that Kurotsuchi-taicho is the only one who doesn’t know,” Ikkaku said.

“He has never cared to bring the subject of you up with me,” Yamamoto replied, “But do you really think he _wouldn’t_ know about this?”

The smooth-headed man could not believe that every single captain in the Seireitei knew about his Bankai. That was simply unfair.

“And now I return to my first question,” the general continued, “Why did you feel like not revealing your Bankai was worth sacrificing a hundred thousand souls?”

Ikkaku winced at the harsh question.

“During the fight, I forgot that I wasn’t just fighting just for myself,” he admitted, “I forgot that the rest of you were relying on me, too.

“As for the reason I kept my Bankai a secret, it’s because my greatest wish is to die fighting under the command of Kenpachi. I knew that if people found out about my Bankai, you would force me into being a captain.”

Yamamoto sat there and just _looked_ at Ikkaku for a few moments. The younger man felt a little nervous under the scrutiny of the old man’s gaze, but stood his ground. That is, until Yamamoto let out a furious burst of reiatsu.

“IDIOT!”

Ikkaku fell backwards at the force of the roar backed by spiritual pressure.

“Captain-commander?” he asked hesitantly.

“Did you really think we would _force_ someone into captaincy?” Yamamoto asked angrily, “As your own Division has proven, possession of Bankai is _not_ the sole requirement for being a captain!”

“I thought that with three captains gone…” Ikkaku said weakly.

“Silence!” Yamamoto barked, “Since you are so worried about your position, know this: the only way you could wear that haori is by killing Zaraki Kenpachi in front of two hundred witnesses!”

Ikkaku wondered if he should feel relieved or a little insulted by that.

“You are not the first Bankai-capable officer to refuse captaincy,” Yamamoto said, his voice returning to a more normal level, “And I doubt that you will be the last. Such attitudes are admittedly rare, but they do exist.”

The Third Seat was silent as he processed that information.

“So if you learn nothing else today, remember this: if you cannot defeat an enemy with Shikai,” Yamamoto concluded, and then suddenly raised his voice several decibels, just below the classification of a shout, “ _Use Bankai!_ ”

Ikkaku flinched backward at the extra emphasis the captain-commander put on the last two words.

“That is all; you are dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.” Ikkaku quickly bowed and left.

After he had gone, Yamamoto sighed and massaged his forehead. Dealing with children was tiring.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** A chapter on why I don’t think it was necessary for Ikkaku to conceal the fact that he has a Bankai, especially considering the revelation about a certain lieutenant in the Thousand Year Blood War Arc.

Yamamoto’s command to Ikkaku to use Bankai is a bit of irony inspired by the omake for Episode 314.


	9. Brother-Teacher Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Soul Society equivalent of a Parent-Teacher conference.

Characters: Ukitake, Byakuya

Genre: Drama

Setting: Soul Society, a couple of months after Ichigo lost his powers

Word Count: 486

* * *

“Thank you for taking time to meet with me, Ukitake-taicho,” Kuchiki Byakuya said as he sat down in the white-haired captain’s retreat on the pond.

“It’s no problem,” Ukitake replied warmly, “What did you want to talk about?”

“You no doubt recall that I had requested that Rukia be forbidden from the ranks of the seated officers,” Byakuya said.

“Yes, so she would be subjected to less dangerous missions.”

“Events of the Winter War have forced me to reconsider that stance.”

“What do you mean?”

“Rukia killed one of the Espada single-handedly. Even taking into account that it was the weakest one, and that she would have died also without medical attention, the fact remains that she is alive and that Espada is not.

“In addition to this feat, Rukia also slew other powerful Hollows and Arrancar with aid from her friends.”

“I told you that she was stronger than you thought,” Ukitake reminded him amiably.

“Yes,” was the serious reply.

“So, does that mean…?”

“I am granting you permission to give Rukia whatever rank you believe she deserves,” Kuchiki Byakuya stated.

Ukitake smiled sympathetically. He knew that Byakuya had taken great lengths to protect his adopted sister, doubly so after she had almost been executed. If it had been up to this protective older brother, Rukia likely would be out of the Gotei 13 and safe inside the Kuchiki mansion twenty-four hours a day.

But Byakuya was also taking Rukia’s desires into account. And while he still wished to ensure the safety of his younger sister, he was now allowing her more freedom in her life.

“Sometimes the hardest part about love is knowing when to let go,” the old captain said, “And I do happen to have a vacant seat that has been waiting for several years to be filled.”

The younger of the two men considered that statement.

“You were keeping that position open for Rukia,” he said, his tone specifically electing not to add a question mark to the end of the sentence.

“I knew she was stronger than she let on,” Ukitake explained, “And with Kiyone and Sentaro taking care of me, I could afford to be patient until you allowed Rukia to be a seated officer.”

“Considering the amount of trouble Rukia gets herself in, I suppose that it is only fitting that she be given the privileges of a lieutenant as well as the risks,” Byakyuya commented dryly.

Ukitake let out a small chuckle at that.

“I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear the offer,” he said, “She’ll make you proud.”

“She already has.”

“You should tell her that,” Ukitake advised.

The elder brother of Rukia considered the advice and merely replied, “Perhaps.”

“Is there anything else you wish to discuss?” Ukitake asked.

“No,” he answered, “Thank you for your time, Ukitake-taicho.”

“Have a good day,” the old captain said amiably as his younger peer left through the door.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** Soul Society version of a Parent-Teacher conference and my vision of the conversation Byakuya would have with Ukitake during the Timeskip.


	10. Strong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is stronger?

Characters: Gin and Kenpachi

Genre: Drama/Friendship(?)

Setting: Episode 20, just after Gin pulled Kenpachi away from fighting Byakuya

Word Count: 414

* * *

Gin let the strings of profanity coming from the mouth of the Eleventh Division’s captain bounce off his ears, and continued to drag the larger man to a safe distance away from Captain Kuchiki.

“’Kay, I’m gonna let ya loose now,” Gin told him after he was satisfied with their location, “But only after ya stop yer cussin’.”

The man from Zaraki spat out one last curse before shutting up.

Gin took a few steps backward to a reasonable safe distance, and drew Shinso. He gave a quick mental command, and the blade shot forward and precise cut the strips binding Kenpachi.

The fox kept a cautious eye on his peer, but to his surprise, the spike-haired man just got to his feet calmly and looked at him with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“You tied me up,” the large man stated plainly.

“Yep,” Gin replied unrepentantly. Despite his calm exterior, the fox was on a state of heightened alert. He knew that Kenpachi should be reacting in an angrier manner than the way he was now. Any moment now, the battle-hungry man was going to give him the what-for on stepping between him and a good fight.

But that did not happen. The blood knight just gave his peer a considering look, before an excited grin sprouted on his face.

“You’ve been holding out on me,” Kenpachi chuckled, and reached for his nameless nodachi.

“Watcha talkin’ ‘bout?” Gin asked, feeling a little nervous.

“If you’re strong enough to tie me up before I can blink,” Kenpachi deduced, “Then you’re strong enough to be fun opponent.”

“That so?” the fox replied.

“Yeah,” the battle-hungry man confirmed, and then eagerly shouted, “So show me what you got!”

With the challenge declared, he drew his sword and charged at the captain of the Third. A swing of his nameless zanpakuto destroyed the wall, but he realized that his potential playmate had disappeared on him.

“Tch,” scoffed Kenpachi in frustration, and returned his sword to its sheath, “And I always heard he liked to have fun.”

From a safe perch not too far away, Gin was shaking his head in amusement. On a normal day, he might have indulged in Kenpachi’s thirst for a fight. But Aizen’s plans were about to come to fruition, and the mastermind would not appreciate monkey wrenches being tossed in needlessly. Of course, the fox was tempted to start a fight just to do exactly that, but he restrained the impulse.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** In his first appearance in the series, Gin successfully and easily ties up Kenpachi to prevent him from starting a fight. Isn’t that one of those things considered impossible for anyone except Unohana? Of course, being Unohana, she doesn’t need to tie up Kenpachi; she can just _smile_.

This is one of the scenes where we see evidence that Gin is a _lot_ stronger than he lets on. With characters like Aizen, Ichigo, Kenpachi or Yamamoto claiming credit to being spiritual powerhouses (and rightfully so), it’s easy to forget some of the other captains.


	11. Food for Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yammy needs someone to complain to who won't talk back, and decides to vent on the prisoner.

Characters: Yammy and Orihime

Genre: Drama

Setting: Las Noches, after Orihime’s kidnapping

Word Count: 620

* * *

“I tell ya, woman,” Yammy complained as he wolfed down food from the basket he had brought with him to the cell, “It ain’t easy being the Tenth Espada.”

The red-haired prisoner didn’t speak, unsure of what to say to him. Fortunately for her, the large Espada did not seem to expect or want a reply from her at that moment.

“Here in Las Noches, a Hollow don’t really matter unless he’s in the top ten,” he continued, “And I got nine jerks always lording their rank over me, ‘cause they got some idea that just ‘cause I’m Ten I’m weak.”

He paused long enough to take a bite of what appeared to be (and Orihime hoped actually was) a chicken leg.

“Ulquiorra’s the only one of ‘em I can stand,” Yammy went on, speaking with his mouth full, “Yeah, he calls me ‘trash,’ but he does that to everyone else who’s below him, so it don’t bother me as much.”

“So, is he your friend?” Orihime asked hesitantly as her “guest” swallowed his food.

“Ha!” Yammy barked out a mocking laugh, “We’re Hollows; we don’t _have_ friends. Ulquiorra’s just the guy I hate the least in this place, and I know that if Aizen ordered him to kill me, he would without any feeling.”

“So, Ulquiorra’s actually one of the _nicer_ Espada?” Orihime asked incredulously.

“We’re Hollows, woman; we don’t _do_ nice. But I gotta admit, Starrk’s not too bad when compared to the rest of them, but he’s always sleeping, so it’s so boring to be around him. No wonder Lilynette’s always jumping on him.”

Yammy’s next chomp swallowed the piece of food whole.

“And Szayel’s the worst of ‘em; he’s a creepy little bugger.”

Bite. Gulp.

“Aaro-, Aaronye-, Nine is just too weird. And his or her, or whatever it is, voice creeps me out.”

Bite. Gulp.

“Zommari’s too cocky to be around.”

Slurp. That was swig from a flask he had also brought along.

“Halibel is always glaring at me like I’ll do something bad to her girls. Like I waste my time with weaklings. Besides, if there’s someone she should watch out for, it should be Nnoitra.”

Bite. Gulp.

“Speaking of which, both him and Grimmjow tick me off.”

Bite. Chew. Gulp.

“Barragan’s even cockier than Zommari, but at least he’s got more brains to back him up on it. But he’s already got six Fraccion worshipping the ground he walks on, and I do _not_ want to get in the middle of that contest.”

Finished with his rant, Yammy swallowed down the last bit of food he had brought with him.

“So, why are you telling me all this?” Orihime asked.

“’Cause something about you is bothering Ulquiorra,” Yammy said, wiping his hands on his pants, “Don’t know what, but he’s been a little bit twitchier ever since Aizen assigned you to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, for starters, he’s actually talking to me more, complaining about how ‘incom-, incompre-’”

“Incomprehensible?” Orihime offered.

“Yeah, that’s how he’s always describing you,” Yammy took the word, “I’ve never seen him on edge like this before. He’s a smart guy, so I don’t think he likes how there’s something he don’t understand.”

“Is that why you’re here?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to see what’s got Ulquiorra annoyed. Me, I don’t see what’s to be so upset about. You’re just a human girl. Yeah, you got powers Aizen’s interested in, but other than that, you don’t look anything special.

“Meh. Whatever’s got Ulquiorra interested in you, I guess it’s something only his ‘all-seeing’ eye can see.”

With that said, Yammy got up and headed for the door.

“Um, thank you for the visit.”

“Sure, whatever,” Yammy grunted.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** I had been trying to work in Yammy’s reasoning for following Ulquiorra into a fanfic, and it finally made its way here.


	12. Bringer of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When culture meets combat.

Characters: Kenpachi and Yumichika

Genre: Friendship

Setting: Soul Society, sometime while Kenpachi is captain

Word Count: 687

* * *

Kenpachi was walking through the barracks of the Eleventh Division late at night. He had just finished a long day of fighting, relaxing, and even a side of paperwork, and he was ready to hit the sack.

He stopped as he passed Yumichika’s quarters, a sound catching his attention from inside.

Without knocking, he walked into the room to investigate.

“Do you need something, captain?” asked the narcissist, completely unruffled at the rude entrance of his superior.

“What’s this noise?” he asked bluntly, searching for the origin of the unknown sound. It appeared to be coming from a strange-looking box sitting on the floor next to the inhabitant’s futon.

“This is _not_ noise,” Yumichika protested, bristling, “This is a most beautiful work of art, something as easy on the ears as I am on the eyes.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Kenpachi said dismissively, “I just wanna know what it is, and to start it over again.”

“Oh,” the Fifth Seat said, appeased, “It’s a piece of music from the world of the living that I got from Sasakibe-fukutaicho. It’s called ‘Mars: Bringer of War,’ by a human named Gustav Holst.”

“Weird name,” commented Kenpachi, “Just play it.”

“Certainly,” Yumichika complied, restarting the song.

It began quietly, almost too softly for the captain to hear, but it picked up, and he found himself imagining a battle…

* * *

_Two warriors were bound by destiny to meet and fight to the death._

_They approached from their respective directions and stopped just as they saw each other on the battlefield._

_They paused for a moment, observed their opponent and kept a hand on their swords. They each quietly measured the features and mannerisms of their opponent, trying to judge the abilities of their adversary. Then, without any discernible signal, they attacked._

_The fight began even between the two, each warrior testing the strength and defenses of the opponent. The two blades clashed against each other, neither yielding to the other despite the force brought forward by each party. Once or twice, the metal would sneak past the defense and score a minor mark on the enemy._

_Finally, the two split apart, observing the condition of the other. They had both emerged from the first skirmish marked by their adversary’s blade. Each warrior felt their blood quickening as they saw crimson liquid seep from wounds from the other. Now that they had a better idea of their opponent’s style, they prepared themselves once more for the second round. Like the first time, there was a brief pause of sizing up the enemy before they charged once more._

_Blade met blade, each warrior using every technique they knew to keep the fight going, to prevent the enemy from getting the upper hand. They exerted maximum effort in the best battle of their lives, and neither side gave way. This time, strikes were able to meet their mark on the enemy, and both fighters were sustaining more grievous wounds than their first clash._

_Once more, the two warriors split apart, far more injured than before. Though the wounds were deep, neither fighter backed down. Even if a healer were to show up, their chances of survival were slim to none. And so they decided that if they were to die, they would do so fighting. They both seem to know the will of their opponent, and they knew that the next stroke would be the last._

_With that thought in mind, and a silent, mutual salute of respect for each other, the two warriors charged for one final strike._

* * *

The percussion signaled the end of the piece, and Yumichika looked in honest inquiry at his captain’s reaction.

Kenpachi just said, “Good stuff.”

“I’m glad you approve,” said the pleased Fifth Seat, “Perhaps there’s hope for your sense of aesthetics yet.”

“Tch, whatever,” Kenpachi said dismissively, and left without another word.

On his way to his room, he wondered if he should convince Yachiru to play this song every time he fought a strong opponent. After all, he heard that Kyoraku had his lieutenant shower _flower petals_ of all things on him as part of his dramatic entrance.

* * *

 **Author’s Note:** I realize that this is pushing the boundaries of my definition of “people who don’t interact much,” but I feel justified in the fact that we really don’t see how Yumichika views his relationship with Kenpachi very often. We had an Ikkaku-centric episode, but not one with our favorite peacock.

And really, “Mars: Bringer of War,” _would_ be an appropriate Leitmotif for Kenpachi.


	13. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aizen's two lieutenants talk about why they joined the man who sought heaven's throne.

Characters: Gin and Tousen

Genre: Friendship(?)/Drama

Setting: Las Noches, between Soul Society Arc and Arrancar Arc.

Word Count: 1,010

* * *

Gin was smiling wider than usual. Most people would not be able to tell the difference, and Tousen technically could not "see" it, but the amused aura emanating from the fox most certainly told him that the silver man's smile was on its extra-large setting.

"Who is the victim this time?" he inquired.

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout?" the fox asked in an innocent tone that would not fool even Yammy.

"You're in the observation room of Las Noches and you're smiling," Tousen said bluntly, "That means that something is amusing you at someone else's expense."

"Oh, c'mon," Gin complained, "Don't be such a stick in the mud."

"Ichimaru."

"Okay, fine, I found out 'bout one of the new features of Las Noches," Gin admitted, "Ya know, the one where ya can change the walls an' halls however ya want?"

"What of it?"

"Why don't ya come an' see fer yerself?"

Tousen ignored the deliberate wording on the fox's part and "looked" at the monitor screen. While it was true he was blind in the traditional sense, he had long ago honed his ability to pick up reiatsu. It had long become like sight to him, and he could "see" the spiritual pressure of anyone, even those on a monitor. In environments with higher reiatsu density, like Hueco Mundo, his vision was clearer and sharper.

Tousen almost allowed himself a smirk when he saw a frustrated Nnoitra on the screen. The tall Espada was yelling curses at the wall in front of him, as if the plain architecture were his greatest archenemy since Nelliel disappeared.

"He's been shoutin' an' hollerin' fer twenty minutes now," Gin informed his cohort cheerfully, "An' he'd been runnin' into dead ends fer a half-hour before that."

"You've been toying with him for that long?" Tousen asked, "Don't you think it's time to stop?"

While he did not have an ounce of affection for Nnoitra, agitating Espada inevitably led to destroyed property. There had been enough of that in the past without someone deliberately egging the powerful fighters into going on a destructive rampage.

"Almost," Gin said, "On the other side of the wall he's shoutin' at is his bedroom. Course, he don't know that."

Tousen decided not to remark on that.

"Wanna make a bet on how long 'til he figures it out?" Gin asked.

"No."

"Wanna stay an' see how long 'til he figures it out?"

Tousen did not reply, but let his continued presence in the room speak for him.

"Maybe there's hope fer yer sense of humor, after all," Gin remarked.

After a few minutes of quietly watching Nnoitra curse the wall in front of him blue, Ichimaru broke the silence.

"Ya know, I've always wondered," he said, "You've been with Aizen even longer than I have, so I'm a bit curious as to why ya joined his gig."

"Aizen has shown me the path to Justice," Tousen answered, his tone obviously capitalizing the "J" in "Justice," as always.

"Oh, c'mon, there's gotta be more to it than that," Ichimaru pressed on, "What's the story?"

The serious man paused. In part because he was remembering the reason himself, and also because he was debating whether he should tell his long time if untrustworthy co-conspirator.

"Very well," Tousen relented, "It's because of a friend. She was once a shinigami, before she was murdered by her husband for protesting him killing his subordinate. The Central Forty-Six did not punish him for this crime. On that day, I swore to let Soul Society know the true meaning of Justice."

Gin studied him with an unusual expression on his face that Tousen could not identify. He was still smiling, the blind man was sure of that, but now there was a tint of thoughtfulness coloring his reiatsu.

"Ya know what, Kaname," the fox finally said, deliberately catching his cohort's attention by the familiar address, "We have a lot in common."

"What do you mean?" Tousen asked, stiffening at the comparison. He had encountered worse individuals (a certain spike-haired captain came to mind), but Ichimaru commenting on their similarities was not a complimentary remark in his book.

"Ya see, I'm in it fer revenge, too."

Tousen was about to protest the difference between revenge and justice, but Ichimaru's statement caught him off guard, and another question took precedence. "Revenge? You? I never thought that of you."

While Ichimaru was creepy and untrustworthy, Tousen had never known the fox to hold a grudge. As a matter of fact, now that he thought about it, he realized that he had never seen Gin angry or even annoyed. It was always that same mocking amusement, and occasional surprise. Gin never showed animosity towards his foes, which was one personality quirk of his that Tousen had respected. So what vile fool had committed a sin so atrocious that _Ichimaru_ desired vengeance?

"'Cause it happened a long time ago, like with ya," explained Gin, "Friend o' mine got hurt, an' I'm makin' sure that the guy who did it dies."

Tousen refrained from asking who this offender was. If Ichimaru was not mentioning that unfortunate soul's name now, it was unlikely that he would ever hear it. Even if Tousen pressed, he had no doubt that all he would get out of the fox would be evasions and lies.

An explosion from the monitor interrupted his thoughts. The two former shinigami looked at Nnoitra's predicament with different levels of amusement.

Espada Number Five had finally decided to destroy the wall that was in his way with a Cero, and was walking smugly through the hole… until he entered the room and realized he had also destroyed his own living quarters.

Tousen swore he could hear the scream of frustration from here, even without the monitors.

Gin was cackling at the fruits of his meddling, and even Tousen found some amusement at the Espada's situation.

"Perhaps that will teach him to put a rein on his temper," the blind man said smugly, but used every amount of willpower he had to prevent himself from smiling.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Despite the fact that they're Aizen's top lieutenants, we don't really see much one-on-one interaction between Gin and Tousen.


	14. For Whom the Bell Tolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kenpachi remembers the reason why he doesn't think deeply too often.

Characters: Kenpachi and Hinamori, background Yachiru

Genre: Humor

Setting: Soul Society, during the Timeskip.

Word Count: 904

* * *

When Kenpachi saw Yachiru talking with one of the other lieutenants in conspiratorial whispers, his mind went on immediate “Yellow Alert.”

After a moment, he recalled that Yachiru’s suspicious playmate was Hinamori, the lieutenant of the Fifth. The girl looked as if she was reluctant about doing something, but her pink-haired peer was encouraging her. And also probably taunting, judging by the quick, quiet accusation of “chicken” he managed to catch.

The only reason Kenpachi remembered the mousy girl was because she was among the more frequent babysitters for Yachiru. He never was too impressed with her meek personality, but he supposed that anyone who could play with Yachiru more than once couldn’t be that weak.

Truth be told, Hinamori had actually entered his mind more often after the hullabaloo with the three traitorous captains. Of course, the term “more often” was meant in the comparative sense; before Aizen’s betrayal, she would enter his mind once a year, if ever. Nowadays, it was every other week or so, coinciding with the occasions she came over to babysit Yachiru.

Like everyone else, he had heard how Aizen had stabbed Hinamori and left her for dead. And her devotion to her captain had prevented the girl from truly realizing Aizen’s nature for several weeks after she had wakened up from a coma.

Rumors had flourished on what kind of relationship Hinamori viewed with her captain, whether it was an unrequited love, or a father-daughter relationship. And Kenpachi realized that if it were the latter, he got unreasonably angry with the traitor, more than he should have.

He didn’t know why; after all, the strong ruled, and the weak better get out of the way. Yet as he looked at the two girls, he knew that strength was not the sole requisite for life. A major part of it, to be sure, but not the only part. If strength were the sole deciding factor in his life, he would have never adopted Yachiru.

Unbidden thoughts went through Kenpachi’s mind, comparing himself with Aizen. They were both strong, and had father-daughter relations with their devoted and adoring lieutenants. The similarities actually stopped there, but they were enough to form a nauseating image in his mind. One with him running Yachiru through with his nameless sword.

As soon as the image came, he banished it from his head. But still, it _hurt_ for some weird reason.

Kenpachi knew he would never hurt Yachiru. But the parallels between her and Hinamori were all too clear to him. They had cheerful personalities, adored their captains, and placed said captains on a perfect (albeit quite different) pedestal.

Hinamori had been betrayed and stabbed by that captain, her father figure. Was Yachiru thinking of how it could happen to her?

His somber thoughts were interrupted by the cautious and nervous approach of Hinamori. Obviously Yachiru had managed to persuade her to partake in whatever schemes she had cooked up.

“Excuse me, Zaraki-taicho,” she said quietly, “But I couldn’t help but notice that your top bell is crooked.”

Kenpachi experienced two reactions to that statement.

First was surprise that Hinamori would have the audacity to approach him on the topic of his hair.

Second was his annoyance that the painstakingly-placed Top Bell was off-center. Normally, he didn’t care about his appearance (unlike a certain peacock in his division), but he made an exception for his Top Bell. That bell took him hours to place correctly, and so he decided that if he was going to put that much effort into it, it should at least look straight.

Kenpachi realized that Yachiru had put this girl up to pointing out the fashion error.

“If you want, I could help you fix it,” Hinamori suggested tentatively, “Yachiru told me how much trouble you have with it.”

“I don’t like anyone touching my bells,” he growled.

The girl cringed, but obviously her spine was stiffer than he thought, because she then repeated her offer. “I promise not to do anything else,” she hastened to add.

Kenpachi was about to refuse her again, but then remembered the number of hours that it took to put the Top Bell on in the first place.

“Fine,” he relented. He was _not_ doing this because of the comparisons he had put of her and Yachiru were fresh in his mind.

Hinamori was a short girl, and even reaching up and standing on tiptoes, she could barely reach his face. So he bent over far enough that the petite vice-captain could fix that hated Top Bell.

The girl had just started to reach up when she squeaked out “Uso!” and disappeared in a buzz of shunpo.

Kenpachi blinked, still bent over. For a moment, he was unsure of how to react.

“What.” He didn’t bother to add a question mark to that word; it seemed like an unnecessary effort.

Finally, he stood up straight, and sent a look at his surrogate daughter. Yachiru just beamed back at him with a face too innocent to be believed.

After a moment of the staring contest, Kenpachi burst out laughing. Anyone within hearing range immediately found another place to be.

The large man finally settled down, and finished his expressing of amusement with a chuckled, “Brats.”

Nothing had changed between him and Yachiru, he was sure of that now.

However, Kenpachi decided that the next item on his list was to find a new hairstyle.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** This was inspired by one of the skits in the Bleach Rock Musicals, Code 003, where Gin holds an “Uso!” contest (“Uso” means “just kidding” or “I lie”).

It’s never been a main focus, but I’ve noticed that in some of the filler episodes with the SWA, Hinamori is the one looking after our favorite adorable pink terror.

Kenpachi’s thoughts on Yachiru and Hinamori were something that came to me after I had written the first draft of this chapter.


	15. Lost Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The showdown that had to happen sooner or later.

Characters: Kuukaku, Kenpachi, minor Yachiru and Ganju

Genre: Humor

Setting: Soul Society

Word Count: 496

* * *

Kuukaku sighed in relief as she put down the receipt signifying the final payment of her new house. While she liked to move a lot, it was always a pain to deal with mortgages.

Her brief moment of tranquility was interrupted by a large crashing. The veins in her forehead began to throb as an anatomical tip-off that her irritation levels were rising; the only person who had permission to go around and destroy property inside this building was _her_.

“Yachiru, are you _sure_ this is an underground passage back to the barracks?”

“Absolutely, Ken-chan!”

Kuukaku growled as she got up from her seat and confronted the intruders, her favorite pipe in hand.

“Oi! What do you think you’re doing?!” she yelled as she walked into the hallway.

A large man with a small pink-haired girl perched on his shoulder glanced her way indifferently. Kuukaku took note of the haori the man wore, and immediately identified him as a Gotei 13 captain. Judging by his size and eye patch, this was probably…

“Zaraki Kenpachi,” she growled, “Why are you busting up my home?”

“Eh?” the large man grunted as he acknowledged her, “Who’re you?”

“Shiba Kuukaku,” she snapped, “Now, tell me, what are you doing here?”

Zaraki looked as if he was going to answer, but then reconsidered as he gave her once-over.

“Eyes up here, bozo!” Kuukaku snarled, gesturing to her face with her pipe.

Zaraki grinned at her hostile attitude. Then he looked to Pink Shoulder Pet and said, “Yachiru, get off.” Pink Shoulder Pet obliged. “This one looks strong.”

_One battle too-awesome-to-be-described later._

Kuukaku growled in frustration as she looked at her destroyed house. Her twin servants Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko were on her right and behind her, weeping dramatically at the impromptu demolition of their home. The man responsible for the mess was standing to her left, Pink Shoulder Pet back in her original position, and he looked completely unrepentant at his actions.

The battle-hungry captain had been generous to keep the fight fair by not drawing his sword, but the resulting fisticuffs/wrestling/boxing/punching match still left the two combatants bruised and the immediate vicinity leveled. The grand total of her injuries included a black eye, too many bruises to count, a bleeding lip, and what she presumed to be a fractured rib. Zaraki looked just as bad; he was only standing up straight because he was using his nodachi as a walking stick, as she had managed to score a good hit on his left leg.

“Great,” she snarled, “Now I’ll have to move again.”

“Thanks. That was a good fight,” Kenpachi grinned, seemingly oblivious (or perhaps apathetic) to her anger, “We’ll have to do this again sometime.”

Kuukaku was about to berate her unexpected sparring partner when she heard a familiar sound of hoof beats, and turned to see her little brother going as fast as his boar could carry him.

“Nee-san! I saw the smoke! Are you all r-AAAAAAAHHHH! ZARAKI KENPACHI!”

* * *

 **Author’s Note:** This story came to me after I read a story about a Crack pairing between these two aggressive characters. So I envisioned what would happen if Kuukaku and Kenpachi ever collided in canon, and this was the result.

No weird houses were harmed in the making of this chapter.

I don’t like having a character being featured two times in a row, but this chapter was pretty much written, and I didn’t have anything else, so here it is.


	16. Job Offer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on assignment in the world of the living, the captain of the Tenth relays a message to Urahara.

Characters: Hitsugaya and Urahara

Genre: Drama

Setting: Urahara Shoten, Arrancar Arc

Word Count: 493

* * *

Hitsugaya Toshiro walked into the small store owned by the self-proclaimed “humble shopkeeper.”

“Hitsugaya-taicho,” Urahara greeted cheerfully as he noticed the young man’s entrance, “What brings you to my humble little shop? Are you interested in purchasing candy?”

“I am not,” Hitsugaya replied coolly, his thoughts immediately going to the tons of sweets he received from Ukitake.

He brought his mind back to the present, and he continued, “I am here on behalf of Yamamoto. In light of revelations concerning Aizen-taicho, and the fact that Yamamoto is now the sole authority in the Seireitei, he has decided to clear you of the charges you were brought up on a hundred years ago. He has also rescinded your exile sentence.”

“How generous of him,” Urahara said, only partly in sarcasm. He knew well that Yamamoto changing his mind about something was an occurrence that was as common as an asteroid impact, and often as dire.

“Yamamoto has also informed me that you are welcome to return to the Gotei 13 and be reinstated as captain,” the white-haired young man continued, “This offer is also open to Shihouin Yoruichi and Tsukabishi Tessai as well. The three divisions that currently lack captains may not have been the ones you were familiar with before your exile, but they are still yours if you want them.”

He paused.

“To be honest,” Hitsugaya continued, “I don’t think anyone would be too upset if you decided to take back the Twelfth Division.”

The blond man smiled wryly at the unofficial opinion, but turned more serious as he considered his own options.

“Thank, you Hitsugaya-taicho,” Urahara said at last, “While I cannot speak for Yoruichi-san or Tessai, I do not think we’ll be accepting the offer.”

Hitsugaya blinked in confusion.

“Why not?”

“Well, for starters, I _am_ just a humble shopkeeper,” Urahara started, enjoying the look on Hitsugaya’s face that clearly said he wanted to roll his eyes, if dignity allowed him, “Tessai and I have come to accept this world as home; I don’t think we’ll be leaving it any time soon.”

Hitsugaya nodded in understanding.

“I’ll tell Yamamoto your answer,” he said, and turned to leave.

“When you do,” Urahara remarked, “Tell him that as long as he’s reconsidering sentences from a hundred years ago, there are a few other cases that deserve a second look.”

The captain looked back. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I’m sure the old man will understand,” Urahara said, “It’s something for us elders; I’m sure such matters would bore children.”

A tic mark appeared on Hitsugaya’s forehead.

“If that’s all,” he said coolly, “Then I’ll be going.”

“Before you go,” the shopkeeper called, “There’s a box of candy for you!”

“I told you before, I’m not interested,” the young man responded, his voice gaining a slight edge, “I already got a lifetime’s supply from Ukitake.”

“Who do you think ordered it for you?”

With a complete disregard for dignity, Hitsugaya palmed his face.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** With three vacant captain positions, I find it hard to believe that Yamamoto would not even consider the idea of accepting Urahara and Co. back into Soul Society.


	17. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lieutenant of the First Division talks with the lieutenant of the Fifth before he departs for the Battle of Karakura.

Characters: Sasakibe and Hinamori

Genre: Drama/Friendship

Setting: Soul Society, shortly before the battle over Karakura

Word Count: 917

* * *

Sasakibe was almost ready to join the rest of the expedition to the world of the living, where they would be waiting for Aizen to make his attack. But first, he had one last errand to run, in the Fourth Division.

The person he sought to visit was in her room where the healers said. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, her hands folded in her lap and looking down at the floor as if deep in thought. A hue of melancholy painted her face, a contrast to her normally positive and sweet demeanor.

Upon realizing she had a visitor, Hinamori looked up at him.

“Sasakibe-san,” she said, and her expression lost some of its sadness, “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to come and check on your condition,” the lieutenant of the First Division answered, “How are you feeling?”

The last time he saw her, he had left her in Unohana’s care after her conversation with Hitsugaya while the captain was in the world of the living. At that time, she looked thin, haggard, and tired. And that was only a mild sign of what could be going on within the heartbroken girl’s mind.

“Fine,” she replied.

At least she was being accurate in that statement, at least physically. The bags under her eyes had disappeared, and weeks under the guardianship of Captain Unohana had ensured that the petite lieutenant received appropriate diet and care. Hinamori was physically fit and would certainly pass the fitness test clearing her for active duty.

Physically.

While the wound Aizen had dealt her was severe, it was still shallow compared to the damage incurred onto her mind. The psychological trauma of being betrayed by a loved one was not something to be taken lightly.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said out loud, “You should know that the captains and lieutenants are preparing to go to war now. We believe that Aizen will assault Karakura shortly.”

The morose look Hinamori had on her face when he entered the room returned to her face.

“You’re all going out to kill him,” she said softly.

“Correct,” he replied, not mincing words.

“Why?”

Sasakibe did not answer immediately; he could sense that she had more to say than that single word.

“Why can’t we try to put any effort into saving him?” Hinamori continued, “I heard that Hisagi-san and Komamura-taicho were going to try to save Tousen.”

“True, but they are both willing to do what is necessary, should Tousen refuse to listen,” Sasakibe countered.

She looked away.

“I understand that you have conflicting loyalties right now, Hinamori-kun,” Sasakibe started.

“How can you possibly understand?” she interrupted, “You’ve been Yamamoto’s lieutenant for who knows how long. Has he ever betrayed your trust?”

The older man took her question as a sign that she was at least willing to admit that Aizen was her enemy now.

“He has not,” Sasakibe admitted, “But I do know the agony of being betrayed by a close friend. It is painful to live with the knowledge that someone you entrusted with your faith had turned it against you.”

“But I’m sure he’s got good reasons for doing what he did,” Hinamori argued.

“I’ve been loyal to Yamamoto for several centuries,” Sasakibe replied, “And during that time, I admit that I have done some terrible acts on his orders, because we believed that it was for the good of the world and for justice. But killing a loyal soldier for simply outliving their usefulness was never an order he issued.”

And technically, that was true. The captain-commander had never killed someone for being useless because everyone in the Gotei 13 had a purpose. Chojiro remembered the days when Yamamoto cared nothing for his subordinates, and in those days, having no use would get a person killed by the enemy or his own compatriots, whichever came first. No order was necessary. In recent centuries, Yamamoto had grown softer and more attached to those under his command. Nowadays, there was no such thing as a useless person in the Gotei 13 for a different reason; there was simply a niche for everyone.

Back to the matter at hand, Hinamori still appeared conflicted. That was to be expected; after all, Chojiro was not sure what he would do if he had found himself on the point of his old friend’s sword. Probably nothing, he thought with black humor, as the only thing left of him would be ashes.

“And if Aizen were acting for noble reasons,” he pressed on, “Would he really kill try to kill his loyal lieutenant and her best friend?”

She stilled. Chojiro waited patiently for her to react. The answer was small and cracked, but he could still hear her utter, “No.”

He stood up, having said all he intended to say. “Think about what I’ve said, Hinamori-kun; your presence would be welcome on the battlefield.”

He left her to her thoughts. Some would criticize him for encouraging a girl obviously still recovering from mental trauma to the battlefield. Chojiro knew, though, that lessons learned in combat were the ones that people took to heart the most. By fighting against Aizen’s forces, Hinamori would prove to herself and the rest of the Gotei 13 that she was someone worthy of the lieutenant’s badge.

So when Hinamori arrived outside the shield where Sasakibe held vigil, the only thing the elder said to the younger was, “Good luck,” before granting her entrance into the battlefield.


	18. Come Back Anytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The captain-commander's grandfatherly tendencies only came out for one person.

Characters: Yamamoto and Yachiru, with Hitsugaya

Genre: Humor/Family

Setting: Soul Society, not long after Hitsugaya becomes captain.

Word Count: 431

* * *

“Thank you for the taking the time to meet with me, captain-commander,” Hitsugaya said as he stood in front of Yamamoto’s desk.

“What is it you wish to discuss?” the ancient general asked.

“It’s about…”

CRASH!

“Hiya, Gramps! Hiya Snowy-chan!”

Hitsugaya jumped a foot as he witnessed Yachiru drop down from somewhere in the ceiling and land on Yamamoto’s desk. But while her sudden entrance threatened the condition of his heart, what he saw next nearly broke his brain.

Yamamoto Shigekuni Genryusai, the captain-commander of the Gotei 13 and the most powerful shinigami who ever lived, said, “Hello, Yachiru-chan!” And he said with a tone far more saccharine than Hitsugaya could ever have imagined.

“Can you come out to play?” Yachiru chirped excitedly.

“Not right now,” Yamamoto answered dotingly, “I’ve got work to do.”

“Aw,” the pink girl pouted.

“Here,” the man Hitsugaya would never had termed “grandfather” before that moment said, and pulled out a lollipop from a desk drawer, “This make you feel better?”

As if flipping a switch, Yachiru’s mood immediately brightened, and she snatched up the sweet with a high-pitched, “Thank you!”

And apparently satisfied that her work he was done, she leapt off the desk towards the balcony railing. She stopped for a moment to give an energetic good-bye to the captains she had interrupted.

Yamamoto called after her with a kindly, “Come back anytime!”

As soon as the girl had disappeared, Captain-Commander Yamamoto returned, and it was as if Grandpa Yamamoto had never existed.

“I apologize for the interruption,” he said to Hitsugaya in the familiar gruff, hard voice, “What did you want to discuss?”

In all honesty, with the bamboozling spectacle he had just witnessed, Toshiro had completely forgotten why he had he had requested the meeting. It took Yamamoto’s normal voice to snap him back to reality, and Hitsugaya could not exactly admit that he had forgotten the topic, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Sick leave.”

“Sick leave?”

“Yes,” Hitsugaya continued honestly. After what he just saw, he felt like he needed some time to reassure himself that he was not going insane.

“Hitsugaya-taicho, I realize that you are new to the captaincy, but you should know that medical leaves of absence do not require my personal permission unless they are for longer than three months.”

“I apologize, captain-commander, I forgot about that.”

“Hmph. Very well. You are dismissed.”

“I apologize for taking up your time, sir,” Hitsugaya hastily bowed and left the room.

Well, at least now he knew where Ukitake learned his child-doting behavior from.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** Yamamoto talking like a kindly old man: has to be seen to be believed, in the omake for episode 186 (look on YouTube for “Bleach Omake Yamamoto and Yachiru”).


	19. War and Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Eighth and the Eleventh get together to watch the moon and drink sake.

Characters: Kenpachi and Kyoraku

Genre: Drama/Friendship

Setting: Soul Society, no specific time after Kenpachi becomes captain.

Word count: 299

* * *

Kenpachi took another sip from the saucer of sake and looked at the moon (he was sure it was the moon this time; his Third Seat was sitting next to him).

It was funny, really, how the moon viewings with the Eighth Division had all started as joke on Ikkaku’s lack of follicles. Then someone decided they actually liked the idea of staring at the moon for hours on end while drinking sake, and a tradition started.

It was not every night, except during full moons, and never during new moons (obviously), but it was a great time to get together with the only division that could out-drink the Eleventh.

The viewing was mostly in silence, with the occasional remark on the moon’s beauty, and sometimes the gaze would shift to other parts of the night sky, with the lieutenant of the Eighth keeping an astronomy book on hand. All in all, such a peaceful environment was not something people would expect Zaraki Kenpachi’s division participating in and liking.

To be honest, Kenpachi did not think he would either, when this tradition began. At first, he just attended because Yachiru _insisted_. Surprising himself, Kenpachi came to realize he liked the peaceful nights with the Eighth.

It was not that he was going soft or beginning to get sick of fighting all the time. Kenpachi still loved to fight as much as he ever did, but he also came to realize that he appreciated the quiet nights to balance out the boisterous days in the Eleventh Division barracks.

Of course, it did not hurt that sake acted as a tranquilizer for him. Kyoraku had been amused to inform him the day after their first night drinking together that Kenpachi was the most polite and calmest drunk he had ever met.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** This story came to me after I watched the omake for Episode 93. I got the idea of Kenpachi the Polite Drunk from a comment made on one of the YouTube videos of it, and I thought it plausible.

And to be honest, this one-shot has been on my mind and actually written long before I thought of creating “Odd Couples.” However, it seemed too short for me to be published as its own one-shot, and it stayed on the back burner for a while.


	20. Wrath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gin did not know whether it was ironic or insulting that the aspect of death he most identified with was the one Yammy represented.

Characters: Gin and Yammy

Genre: General

Setting: Las Noches

Word Count: 289

* * *

Gin did not whether it was ironic or insulting (or both) that the aspect of death he most identified with was the one Yammy represented, wrath.

The other two possibilities were loneliness and destruction. While it was true Gin did not have any close ties with people, except Rangiku and arguably Kira, he was never bothered much by it, and he considered himself too social to truly be represented by loneliness. Destruction was an easy case, because he _was_ a captain-level fighter, and his primary goal in life was to kill Aizen by using Kamishini no Yari’s venom to destroy him at the cellular level.

He supposed an argument could be made for sacrifice, and not just because a common interest in threes. Gin had given up much of his life so that he could enter Aizen’s good graces, and search for that perfect moment to strike. But in the end, the only thing that he had given up that he truly considered a sacrifice was a close relationship with Rangiku, and even then, he considered that a temporary situation.

The other aspects were not even worth mentioning.

It was wrath that seemed to fit Gin the most. Which was odd, because he actually did not like being angry; he always preferred being in a good mood, and was usually successful in making sure that the actions of other did not ruin his day. He considered himself an easy-going and amiable person. He knew most others found him to be creepy and off-putting, but that was their problem.

Gin’s wrath was not like Yammy’s berserker rage; he had a serpent’s temper, cool and calculating, which only sought to kill the offender in the quickest and most efficient way possible.


	21. Predator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight alternate timeline where Kyoraku duels Halibel over fake Karakura Town.

Characters: Kyoraku and Halibel

Genre: Drama/Action

Setting: AU, Battle of Fake Karakura Town

Word Count: 429

Note: plain text is in present, while _italics are flashback_.

* * *

“White!”

With his haori flapping behind him like a bird of prey’s wings, the shinigami’s wakizashi sliced clean through her shark tooth-like right arm, and thus left her defenseless for the tachi’s follow-up finishing blow to her neck.

Halibel knew she had lost the game, and the shinigami’s tachi seemed to move too slowly as it moved in to deliver the killing stroke.

* * *

_“I must admit, Espada-san, I have mixed feelings about fighting you.”_

_“What do you mean?” she replied._

_“Well, I feel lucky that I get to fight the prettiest enemy,” he smiled at her with an audacious amount of flirtation in his voice, but then his tone went sober, “But that also means that I’ll have to be the one to kill you.”_

* * *

She had realized quickly how outclassed she was within seconds after the shinigami captain started fighting her seriously. Halibel’s belief in the superior combat skills of Arrancars was shattered as she found that she had to resort to releasing her Resurreccion in desperation. What was even more worrying for her was that the shinigami had yet to even unleash his Shikai, only doing so after the Espada had released her Resurreccion.

* * *

_“The game is simple: if you lose, you die.”_

* * *

While she had known going into battle that death was a certainty, even if it was not her own, the captain’s stark statement made it all the more real to her. Reinforcing her awareness of her own mortality was the fact that the shinigami was so much faster and stronger than her. Despite her status as a Vasto Lorde and having her power enhanced by the Hogyoku, it was all Halibel could do to keep up with his movements.

She was fighting a losing battle, and his games made his victory come all the sooner.

* * *

_“The rule of this game is that the color you call is the only one which can be cut. I’ll go first. Irooni…”_

* * *

In her last moment alive, she reflected on her animal motif, the shark. The shark was a great and terrifying hunter of the seas, deadly and efficient at killing its prey. But there was still another animal which could prey upon it, the killer whale. Like the shark, the killer whale was an extremely deadly animal, but also cunning and playful. As the blade grew ever nearer, Halibel realized that this shark had just fallen in battle to this black and white predator of a shinigami.

One long second later, her head was separated from the rest of her body, and she disintegrated into spiritual particles.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** Upon the positive reception to Chapter 2, with Hitsugaya facing off with Baraggan, I finally managed to write another alternate scenario for that battle. I’d like to get all the combinations down, but that will all depend on how active my muse is.


	22. Conservation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight alternate timeline where the Tenth Division captain battles the Primera.

Characters: Hitsugaya Toshiro and Coyote Starrk

Genre: Action/Drama

Setting: AU, Battle of Fake Karakura Town

Word Count: 425

* * *

“Can’t we just pretend to fight?” the Espada groaned as he rubbed the back of his head.

Toshiro blinked in surprise as the offer.

“What?”

“I don’t really like to fight,” the Arrancar admitted, “I’m just here because Aizen-sama ordered me to come.”

“And you would really just ‘pretend to fight?’” Toshiro asked suspiciously.

“Sure,” his opponent shrugged lazily, “Means less work for me.”

The young captain hesitated. He really should not be considering the offer from the enemy, and he knew that he should carry out his duty to purify the Hollow, Arrancar or not.

But Toshiro also remembered that after dealing with the Espada, there was still Aizen to take care of. If this Arrancar was genuine in his offer, then Hitsugaya could conserve his strength, and have a better chance at killing Aizen.

“What rank are you?” the prodigy asked cautiously.

“What do you think?” the Espada asked in return, his tone surprisingly not challenging or derisive but instead curious.

The white-haired young man glanced at the other two Espada. He had noticed earlier that the older Arrancar had taken charge after Aizen had been imprisoned by Yamamoto’s flames, so he was probably the most powerful. And the woman, even while fighting, was not exerting as much reiatsu as the brown-haired man was passively.

“Are you the Segundo Espada?” Toshiro asked.

The Arrancar sighed, and removed his left glove. The captain froze as he saw the number on the newly exposed skin.

“I’m the Primera,” the Espada informed him, his statement confirmed by the “1” inked on the back of his hand.

Hitsugaya quietly swallowed as he realized the situation he was in. He remembered how he had struggled in his previous fights against Arrancar; the last one he had fought was just the Sexta, and that required a sneak attack to win.

He also realized the implications of his earlier notes. When the older Arrancar seized control, the Primera allowed him to. That gave credence to the offer of pretending to fight, on the account of laziness.

The white-haired captain realized that the best chance of victory he had was to accept the Primera’s offer and just pretend to fight for now. After one of the other captains had defeated their opponents, they could come help out.

“All right,” Toshiro agreed, and raised his zanpakuto into a standard kendo position, “Let’s ‘fight.’ What’s your name, by the way?”

“Coyote Starrk,” the Espada answered as he brought his own sword up.

“Hitsugaya Toshiro,” he said in reply, “Captain of the Tenth Division.”

* * *

**Author’s Note:** Another mix-up on the Battle of Karakura Town.


	23. Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Aizen's betrayal, two pacifistic souls decide to drink like friends.

Characters: Chad and Kyoraku

Genre: Friendship

Setting: Fourth Division, during the week after Aizen betrayed Soul Society

Word Count: 469

* * *

Sado Yasutora was resting on his bed in the Fourth Division when he had an unexpected visitor.

“How are you feeling, Sado-san?” the pink-clad man asked.

When Chad had first met the flamboyant captain, he had thought him to be a fun-loving and friendly type of man, someone he would not mind hanging out with if the circumstances were different. Now, he knew that he had underestimated the captain; Kyoraku may look like a dandy, but he was also a terrifying and lethal opponent.

The tall teenager moved himself to a sitting position and faced his former enemy. Despite the aforementioned fact that Kyoraku concealed a dangerous side of him behind that amiable face, and had very nearly killed him, Chad did not have it in him to resent the captain. First of all, he was not really in the habit of holding grudges. Second, Kyoraku had given him plenty of chances to turn back and live, before resorting to lethal measures. And finally, while the captain did indeed have a dark side, Chad knew it was no different than the anger residing within his own soul. The shinigami may have used blades instead of fists, but Chad had a feeling that they fought for similar reasons.

“Fine,” he answered.

“Good to hear,” Kyoraku smiled, “Now that we don’t have to fight, how about you and I have that drink?”

“I told you, I’m underage.”

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot,” the captain chuckled, “Sorry, we don’t run into that problem often here in the Seireitei.”

“That’s why I remembered to bring tea for him.”

Chad looked behind Kyoraku to see a vaguely familiar woman carrying a tray of tea in her hands.

“Thank you, Nanao-chan,” the captain smiled at his aide, “I know that I can always rely on you.”

“You are Sado Yasutora, right?” the woman asked, and after the receiving of a confirming nod, she introduced herself, “Ise Nanao, lieutenant of the Eighth Division.”

Chad took the cup and sipped at it, nodding his thanks at the woman.

“I heard you helped save Rukia,” he said, “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem,” Kyoraku replied, “Just the right thing to do, after all. Besides, it was more Juushiro’s idea than mine. Oh, Ukitake Juushiro, he’d be the good-looking guy with the long white hair; he’s Rukia-chan’s captain.”

Chad nodded in understanding.

“After all, he’s a good friend,” the shinigami continued, “And if Juushiro said it was something worth fighting for, then that was enough for me.”

He gave the human a meaningful glance as he sipped from his saucer.

With the gist of his own words being reflected at him, the young giant gave a grunt that signaled his agreement. Now that they no longer needed to fight each other, it was nice to simply talk and drink tea.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** This is a meeting I wish we could have seen in the series. It would have been nice to see how Kyoraku and Chad interacted when not forced to be enemies.

It was actually this idea that led me to publish “Odd Couples” in the first place; the reason I haven’t published it before was because I thought it was too short, and I had a hard time writing a conversation between Chad and Kyoraku.


	24. Cold Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichimaru makes an offer that Sung-sun cannot refuse.

Characters: Gin and Sung-sun

Genre: Drama/Suspense

Setting: Las Noches, after Aizen’s betrayal

Word Count: 2,351

* * *

Sung-sun calmly wandered through the magnificent hallways of Aizen’s massive fortress. She was alone, which was quite rare, considering that she was almost always in the company of her fellow Fraccion and lady Espada, but she still moved with demure confidence which stated that she had a destination firmly in mind.

And that was quite true; after getting sick of Mila Rose and Apacci’s company, she decided to take some time for herself by exploring Halibel’s section inside Las Noches. However, it seemed that in a building the size of a small country, even one section was fairly expansive. To put it bluntly, she was now lost.

Well, Sung-sun refused to believe that she was _completely_ lost. She knew that she was still safe within Halibel’s territory, and she had a general idea of her current location, and she had a vague notion of which direction to take back to her own room.

“My, my, ain’t this a sight.”

Correction: she was still in Halibel’s territory, but she was no longer _safe_.

She had enough self-composure to do nothing more than stop walking forward. It took a bit more effort for her to turn around and face her caller with a cool face, though.

“Ichimaru-sama,” she greeted Aizen’s right-hand snake, her sleeve in its usual position in front of her mouth.

“Watcha doin’ here… an’ all alone?”

Ichimaru’s mere appearance was enough to put anyone on edge. His six-word sentence made her want to run away screaming.

She ignored the ignoble but tempting desire, and instead demurely replied, “I am simply taking a stroll. What do you need of me, Ichimaru-sama?”

Las Noches was an enormous palace, large enough that each Espada had a mansion. If Ichimaru was here, deep inside Halibel’s personal residence, then he was here deliberately. For what purpose, she doubted even Aizen could discern; the silver shinigami had a mischievous streak unlike anyone she had ever met.

“Well, since I’ve run into ya, I jus’ wanna talk with ya,” Ichimaru said.

“I see,” Sung-sun replied.

“Ever since I first laid eyes on ya,” the silver man continued. “Ya caught my interest.”

“I’m flattered,” she said, and mentally added, _‘And_ _horrified.’_

“Ya might not be able to guess, but I have an affinity for snakes,” he told her.

“I am not surprised,” she said.

“So ya understand, then.”

Sung-sun paused, and carefully went over his words and the conversation leading up this moment, and admitted, “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I’ve seen how ya act with yer fellow Fraccion,” he told her, and that prompted Sung-sun to raise her prior creepiness rating of him from six to seven out of ten. “I know ya don’t get alon’ well with ‘em.”

“That is true,” Sung-sun confirmed, although now, for the first time in her life, she actually _wanted_ those two idiots with her. She doubted a numerical advantage would help against a man like Ichimaru, but it would have been more comforting to have allies by her side.

“How would ya like me to show ya some spots where ya can hide yerself away from their inane chatter,” the silver man offered.

Sung-sun easily deduced the hidden message: his offer would mean spending far more time alone with Ichimaru than anyone would feel comfortable with.

“Thank you, but that is unnecessary,” she replied. “I have tolerated their presence for years; I can withstand them in the foreseeable future.”

“Oh, it won’t be any trouble at all,” Ichimaru assured her. “As a matter o’ fact, I would absolutely _delighted_ to have yer company fer a while.”

This was bad; this was _very_ bad. Sung-sun wanted to run, but not only would that be a rather undignified exit, but a futile one. Even though she did not know exactly how powerful Ichimaru was, he was certainly Espada-class. And if that was not enough, the way he was looking at her beneath his nearly-closed eyelids was holding her in place as if he had a physical grip on her.

“Ya see, ever since I came to Las Noches, I’ve been a bit lonely,” Ichimaru continued. “So, I’ve been on the lookout fer someone to hang out with. An’ lo an’ behold, there happens to be an Arrancar in our army who happens to share a common motif in cold-blooded creatures.

“So here’s a proposition: as one snake to ‘nother, how ‘bout we get to know each other a bit better. In one o’ those private spots I jus’ mentioned. Ya catch my drift?”

Yes, they were both snakes, but they were different kinds of snake. She was an anaconda, a boa, a python. He was an asp, a viper, a cobra. She strangled the breath of her prey and then swallowed them whole. He injected his fangs into his target, and then waited for his venom to fell his victim. He was a full foot taller than her; larger snakes did _not_ exclude smaller snakes from their menu.

But comparative herpetology was irrelevant. The more immediate issue was to see if she could get away with saying “no” to Ichimaru.

“I’m afraid I must decline your offer,” Sung-sun responded as politely and respectfully as she could manage with dignity.

It was barely noticeable, but Ichimaru’s smile widened. That slight twitch in his facial muscles might as well have been a red flag and neon sign shouting, “DANGER!”

“Lemme ask ya this, Cyan-chan,” he said. “Who’s the boss in Hueco Mundo?”

Sung-sun only allowed herself to be briefly be caught off guard by someone calling her by her first name, and with such a diminutive honorific to boot.

“Aizen-sama, of course.”

“Of course,” he confirmed. “Now, do ya know who’s second in line?”

The Fraccion at first thought of the Primera, but then realized that was incorrect; while Aizen had ordered the Espada in terms of strength, even the most powerful of them were not as close to the lord of Hueco Mundo as the shinigami who were always by his side.

“You are,” Sung-sun murmured.

“Very good,” Ichimaru congratulated. “Since yer such a smart girl, I’ll let ya figure out the logical conclusion.”

The serpentine girl hesitated for a moment, and then quietly answered, “You could order me to sleep with you.”

“That’s right,” he confirmed. “So, now that ya know you’ll be comin’ with me either way, would ya rather accept my proposition, or obey my order?”

“If I may ask, what is the difference?”

“If ya accept my proposition, then I can make us both enjoy tonight,” he explained. “But if ya make me order ya…”

Ichimaru’s hand dropped to his zanpakutō, and he used his thumb to slide it out of its sheath for a brief moment to accentuate his remark, and then let it slide back into place.

“…I’ll be the only havin’ fun.”

Sung-sun almost defied him. She almost bolted and took her chances fleeing from him. She almost risked flinging her sai in his face, and spiking her reiatsu so that even if her attack failed, Halibel would still hear her distress signal, and immediately speed to her aid. As a Vasto Lorde turned Arrancar, Halibel would most certainly be able to protect her from a shinigami.

But as soon as those thoughts came, she forced herself to dismiss them. A battle between Halibel and Ichimaru, no matter the outcome, would be detrimental to Aizen’s cause. Even if her lady won, there was still the fact that Aizen might take exception to someone assaulting one of his most trusted lieutenants.

In the end, Sung-sun’s defiance would do no good. So she would follow her mistress’ example, and make personal sacrifices for the greater good. To avoid injuries which would hamper her future usefulness to Halibel, Sung-sun would also not “force” Ichimaru to make his offer an order.

“I accept your proposition, Ichimaru-sama,” she bowed to him.

Silence followed her declaration of submission, and Sung-sun wondered if she had surprised him by her easy surrender.

Since her eyes were directed at the ground, she did not notice when Ichimaru had stepped in front of her. And he caught her completely off-guard when he reached forward with his right hand and gently cupped it beneath her chin. Powerless before this skinny yet strong extremity, Sung-sun allowed Ichimaru to lift her head upwards so that she was standing up straight and looking directly into his closed eyes. Without her sleeve covering face, she felt naked being so closely examined by him.

“No wonder ya cover up yer face all the time,” Ichimaru murmured to her. “If ya didn’t, there’d be a lotta other guys ‘sides me who’d be askin’ fer yer company.”

His verbal assessment of her appearance unconsciously prompted Sung-sun to do the same of him, sans the “verbal” part. With such a narrow gap between their bodies, she now noticed that Ichimaru was far skinnier than she had first presumed. It was always apparent that Ichimaru was not a large or broad man, but the extent of his lean nature was hidden beneath his white robes. The hand which still cupped her chin felt only little wider than her own, despite his towering over her. She swore she could catch a glimpse of bright blue irises between the slits of his eyelids, but it was difficult to determine if this was true, or just her imagination. Even upon close examination, Ichimaru was an enigma.

As she looked at his face, Sung-sun reluctantly admitted to herself that Ichimaru was not unattractive. While she was far from excited about the impending activities she knew she would be participating in, at least her partner was physically appealing enough to make the experience tolerable.

Sung-sun was shaken from her thoughts as she felt Ichimaru’s hand migrate from her chin past her left jawline, brush past her neck, and caressed her sylvan hair. While the motion was the signal that things were unfortunately starting to move forward, she was surprised by the gentleness of his touch. She wondered if this was how he genuinely treated his lovers, or if he was merely lulling her into a false sense of security until the actual ravishment started.

As his hand drifted up higher, Sung-sun realized that Ichimaru had not moved in any other way. He still stood above her, and looked down at her uncovered face with an indecipherable smile.

Again, her observations were interrupted by the silver snake’s exploring hand, this time as he curled in his fingers slightly so that the tips would rake gently across her scalp. The feeling of such dexterous digits massaging her skull was surprising pleasant, and for the first time since she had run into Ichimaru, Sung-sun’s uneasiness decreased. She was still on edge simply because of who she was with, but the buzz beneath her hair made her part her lips and let a soft exhale escape her. It was noiseless and barely noticeable, but Sung-sun knew that under Ichimaru’s intense gaze in the empty hallway, she might as well have screamed her pleasure.

Of course, the majority of her brain was quite aware of the fact that this was only the beginning, but despite Ichimaru’s creepy mannerisms, his foreplay persuaded her that her immediate future would be at the very least acceptable.

While her head was thoroughly enjoying its massage session, it seemed Ichimaru was ready to take another step forward by leaning his face in. At first, Sung-sun thought he was going to kiss her, and so tilted her head slightly to allow him better access to her lips. But he bypassed her face and stopped just close enough to her ear that she could feel his warm exhales on that sensitive bit of cartilage. As one who had once been in a body that had no ears, she shuddered slightly, and felt dim surprise that such an odd looking appendage could excite her senses so much.

Ichimaru’s fingers continued their trek through her forest-green hair, and sent ripples of pleasure in their wake. As his nimble digits traversed the peak of her skull, he uttered, “Uso.”

That single word dumbstruck her; a splash of cold water would not have done better. It did not help that he had removed his hand from her head and stood up straight, thus abruptly depriving her of what had been a pleasant experience. Her initial gut reaction was to ask that he continue, but stopped herself just in time. A larger part over just wanted to stare at Ichimaru until he elucidated on his reasons why he ceased his ministrations.

But he stayed silent, and nonchalantly walked past her down the hallway. Still stunned, Sung-sun could do nothing but follow his movements, hoping for some clue or rationale for his actions.

“Oh,” Ichimaru stopped, and she paid close attention to his next words. He said casually, “The way back to yer room is two lefts behind ya, take the stairs one flight up, an’ then turn right. The first door ya come to will be Halibel-san’s, an’ yours is the next one beyond that.”

He knew the layout of Halibel’s mansion better than she did; more specifically, _he knew where she slept_. Sung-sun once again re-evaluated how creepy Ichimaru was: no less than nine.

Seemingly oblivious to how the girl was staring at him, the silver snake raised a hand (the same one which had given her that scalp massage, she noted casually) and gave a wave while he threw a “Bye-bye!” over his shoulder.

Sung-sun wanted to scream. She had been willing to accept Ichimaru’s proposition; she had been willing to _enjoy_ what he offered; she actually _had_ started to enjoy his ministrations. This moment was going to haunt her for the rest of her life; she would forever have fantasies of what she could have experienced with him, had he been genuine in his proposition. And Ichimaru had done that deliberately, she just knew it!

Sung-sun decided there and then that no matter how annoyed she got with Mila Rose and Apacci, she would never again walk the halls of Las Noches by herself.

* * *

**Author’s Note:** This chapter was a lot longer and far more risqué than I had originally intended.

Would Gin really coerce a girl into sex? Of course not, he has eyes only for Rangiku. Would he make a girl _think_ he was going to coerce her into sex, get her to reluctantly agree to it, and then yank the rug out from under her and declare he was only kidding, thus leaving poor girl to ponder over what could have been if he had been serious? _Yes_.

* * *

**AO3 Commentary:** You know, this chapter was unsettling even when I wrote it several years ago, but is even more disturbing in light of the #MeToo movement. And yet, I can still see Gin pulling this kind of stunt for the same reasons I listed in the author’s note.


	25. Weirdness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not long after the revelation of Komamura's physical appearance, Kyoraku assures him that he is neither the ugliest or even the oddest person in the Gotei 13.

**Originally published on Fanfiction.net: 9/27/2013**

* * *

Characters: Komamura and Kyoraku

Genre: Friendship

Setting: Soul Society, just after Soul Society Arc ends

Word Count: 638

* * *

“Komamura-taicho!” Kyoraku called. “You on your way to the meeting?”

“Yes,” the captain of the Seventh replied. “Do you need something?”

“No, just wanted to talk,” the older man answered. “Are you feeling all right?”

Komamura knew what Kyoraku was referring to. The revelation that Tosen was a traitor to Soul Society had hit him hard, but he was soldiering on the best he knew how.

“I will be,” he replied somberly, and then changed the subject. “I admit, though, that I’m surprised by how accepting the shinigami are of my appearance.”

Kyoraku chuckled.

“Your real look is a surprise,” he admitted. “But it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Komamura looked down at his pink-clad peer, nonverbally asking for an explanation.

“We have a freaky guy who wears a dumb hat and is the paragon of creepiness as the captain of the Twelfth,” Kyoraku started. “Yoruichi can turn into a cat. Ichimaru was almost as creepy as Kurotsuchi. Zaraki is… Zaraki. And this is only counting people you know today. I’ve seen far stranger in my time, trust me.”

“Were you sober then?”

Kyoraku laughed. “For some of them.” He then took a more serious tone. “You don’t have to worry about people judging you by your appearance here.”

Komamura nodded his thanks.

“What I’m really curious about is what made you think you were so hideous?” the captain of the Eighth went on. “Granted, you’re not human-looking, but frankly, I’d rather run into someone looking like you as opposed to someone looking like Kurotsuchi or Ichimaru.”

“I’m not sure if that’s reassuring,” Komamura noted.

“My point is that you’re too hard on yourself,” Kyoraku chuckled. “As a matter of fact, I’ve heard rumors that the Shinigami Women’s Association has now decided to add your face to their calendars.”

“You’re joking,” the larger shinigami looked sharply at his comrade.

“I’m afraid I’m quite serious this time,” the colorful captain smiled. “Kuchiki-taichō will undoubtedly retain his title of ‘Sexiest Man,’ but Hitsugaya-taichō’s position as ‘Cutest Captain’ is now threatened.”

Komamura stared.

“Hey, that’s what the rumors are saying,” Kyoraku shrugged. “Rumors often exaggerate the facts, so needless to say, you should be reasonable wary about the truth of their claims.” Then his tone turned more serious. “But just to be safe, I’d keep an eye out for fangirls. You’ll find they’re more dangerous than any Hollow. Kuchiki-taicho’s the only one who’s fought them off successfully, and I’m the only one fangirls both like and terrified of approaching.”

“Why are they so afraid of you?” Komamura cocked his head in confusion. He was skeptical that the womanizer actually had fangirls.

“Nanao-chan scares them off for me. The last fangirl to ask for my autograph had ‘The Complete History of Soul Society’ dropped on her,” Kyoraku explained with a nostalgic look on his face. “The poor dear spent a week in the Fourth Division.”

The anthropomorphic canine was now staring unabashedly.

“You do not seem too upset by that,” Komamura inquired tentatively.

“While it strokes my ego very much to have so many pretty women fawn over me, my Nanao-chan is worth a thousand fangirls.”

Komamura shook his head in confusion. It was a hot topic among the shinigami as to what was the exact nature of the relationship between the two top officers of the Eighth Division. On the one hand, Kyoraku was infamous for his unstoppable flirtations, just as Nano was renowned for her no-nonsense attitude. He never ceased in his romantic overtures, and she never showed any signs of reciprocating his feelings. But on the other hand, despite the incessant moves he put on her, Nanao seemed quite content where she was.

The recently unmasked captain decided that Kyoraku was right: he was far from the weirdest individual to join the ranks of the Gotei 13.

* * *

 **AO3 Commentary:** Well, this is the last chapter I have in this anthology for now.


End file.
